Potty Training Fail


Pantless Wonder


Look, if there’s anything having 7 kids has taught me, it’s to know when you’re better off quitting. I’ve potty trained twin two year old boys, I’ve got nothing left to prove. My goal is to just survive with my sanity somewhat intact. So when, after two days, Finn still didn’t understand the general mechanics of potty training, we called it quits. We’ll try again in a few months. No big whoop.

He never even noticed anything changed. He didn’t care when he went back in diapers, never mentioned the whole sordid process again. I’d say that’s a kid who just isn’t ready. I could force it, but that would only make me miserable. Far easier to just whisper my diaper-free dreams to the skies and wait him out a few more months. We’ve done it eleven years. What’s another month or three?

Finn did coin some pretty good one-liners during the process to make it more fun. I asked him to get on the potty and he said, “Ok. We make water now?”

Add that to the family lexicon. I hope I’m still calling it “we make water now” when I’m 95 and he has to change my diapers.

Later, I asked him to try to tee-tee. He wiggled a little and said, “I can’t.”

Then, because he is the baby of the family, he looked up at me with pitiful eyes: “Can you do it for me?”

Heavens, if it were only that simple…







Irony Is…

Waking up on a Sunday morning knowing that THIS is the day potty training begins. Today could be the Beginning of The End of ELEVEN YEARS with kids in diapers. With lots of apple juice and some good mojo, by the end of the week, I’ll be burning that last box of Huggies and weeping all-natural, aloe-scented tears of joy.


But then…

I received a congratulatory text on our “new addition” from a friend who goes to the early service at church.



A small bio that ran about us in the church bulletin gave us 8 kids, not seven. Or, as another friend put it, “Once you’ve passed 4 or 5, what’s the difference, really?”

I’ve received several texts since then, mostly from friends who sat and did the math during the sermon and realized somebody somewhere was wrong.

I am here to assure you all, beloved Church Body, that we counted again just to be certain, and our little blessings only number SEVEN.

The dog does not count. Unless he’s willing to do his own laundry. ┬áThen he can move in immediately…

p.s. Potty training is NOT off to a good start. Cross all your fingers and toes, people…